Chapter 399
This was probably one of the few traces of conscience he had left.
There were many unfilial children, but few who did not want their own child.
People have an innate affection towards their own flesh and blood. His inability to be a good father was a way to avoid harming the child.
Liu Chunhua was still immersed in his words, stunned as she looked up, "You...you don't want me anymore?"
"I'm not abandoning you. I'm just letting you choose the path you want to take," Pei JianGuo was probably extremely nervous. At this moment, his emotions suddenly calmed down. "There was never much feeling between us to begin with. I hurt you initially. I deluded myself into thinking that marrying you was taking responsibility for you, but I ignored your desire to be a mother. Chunhua, since your body is fine, leave me and find a man who likes children, wants to have children, and is willing to raise children with you. That would be the best choice for you and the child. I'm not a good man and can't be a good father either. Just look at PingAn and you'll know. I want to treat him well too, but I don't know what counts as treating him well. Even if you give birth to the child, we can't raise him well or provide for him properly. What's the point of letting him exist in this world?"
"But we can make an effort and learn to be good parents, JianGuo. I never thought you weren't a good man either. You're very good, truly. Believe me, let's try our best, okay?" Liu Chunhua pleaded. "Or if you don't want to take care of the child, after he's born I'll raise him myself. You won't need to be involved at all...I can raise him on my own."
"It's useless. I've tried already. The facts show that I have no patience or perseverance," said Pei JianGuo.
As for leaving it to Liu Chunhua alone, wouldn't that just be another him?
Perhaps the child would turn out even worse than him in the future.
At the very least, Wang Yue protected PingAn and never let anyone bully him. It was always others who suffered.
Whereas Liu Chunhua was like a leaf blown off by the wind, drifting wherever the wind took her - soft and weak, lacking autonomy, only suited to relying on others.
In the end, Liu Chunhua chose to get an abortion.
Just as Pei JianGuo expected, she never had much independent thought to begin with. Once Pei JianGuo took a firm stance, she could only submit.
In the room, Liu Chunhua lay pale and lifeless on the bed, devoid of any vitality, like an eggplant that had been struck by autumn frost - her whole being was limp and withered.
She just felt that life was so difficult, and living well was even harder.
She was so helpless that even when the child was already in her belly, she didn't have the ability to protect it.
She would probably spend the rest of her life like this. By the time she grew old, she would be driven out onto the streets to fend for herself until she perished.
Wang Yue charged in furiously from outside, pointing her finger at Liu Chunhua's nose and scolding her, "You useless wretch, you couldn't conceive before, and now that you finally have, you can't even keep the baby. What good are you for? Why don't you just go ahead and die..." As always, Liu Chunhua didn't say a word. She just lay there, her gaze blankly fixed straight ahead.
Pei JianGuo came in from outside, pulling Wang Yue with him out to the living room before he stopped, his face as dark as coal.
"Mom, I was the one who didn't want this child. She's not to blame, so take your anger out on me instead of bullying her," he wasn't a completely heartless person. Seeing Liu Chunhua like this made him feel bad too.
But a clean break would hurt less than dragging it out. When it came to the child, he had shown weakness by refusing to take on responsibility for another life as well, as he felt that was meaningless when he hadn't even lived his own life properly.
"You...are trying to anger me to death!" Although Wang Yue was fierce to others, her heart would always soften towards her own children. "JianGuo, you're in your thirties now, no longer young. If you don't have a child, what will you do in the future? Who will take care of you when you're old?" Wang Yue now hated herself for not having been there to watch over Liu Chunhua. If she had known earlier, she would have guarded her closely - no one would have dared touch a hair of her grandchild without her consent.
That woman was also an idiot. Pregnant, yet she told this heartless jerk instead of her. Now good for her, a four to five month old fetus gone just like that. What sin had she committed!
Pei JianGuo said, "I have PingAn. It's not like I don't have a son. Don't worry about this anymore, Mom."
"PingAn? That ungrateful brat. Look how coldly he treats you now. Can you actually rely on him in the future?" Whenever her grandson was mentioned, there would be heartache. Whenever she saw him, she tried her best to dote on him, but she knew clearly that the child wasn't close with them at all. That was why she had been hoping so anxiously for Pei JiangGuo to have another child. "It's all his mother's fault too. I don't know what your father was thinking. That woman runs away and wants nothing to do with such a small child, yet he doesn't stop her when she comes back wanting custody. Instead he helps her, bending rules to favor an outsider while failing to distinguish between family or not. And Guo Momo is also hateful. Ungrateful as she is, she still causes trouble and turns the child against us so he's become utterly distant."
However, in all her blame towards Guo Momo, Wang Yue didn't consider at all that there had been no change whatsoever in PingAn's attitude before or after Guo Momo's return.
The woman she once looked down on so much had now returned from overseas studies atop a high horse. No matter if it was career or lifestyle, she had shot far ahead beyond her own son, leaving Wang Yue anything but comfort in her heart. The only relief was to grumble about Guo Momo behind her back.
"Mom, I'm already over thirty, not a child anymore. Could you please stop managing my life and let me live it on my own terms?" Pei JiangGuo said irritably.
The aborted pregnancy took a toll both mentally and physically on Liu Chunhua, and he was faring no better.
That was also his child, yet lost under his own orders. He felt like scum.
At the same time, the guilt towards Liu Chunhua weighed even heavier on him now.
"Yes, yes, you've all grown up now with a mind of your own. No longer the age where you cried mommy. What sin have I committed to end up like this? With you like this and your sister disobedient, what will happen in the future?" Wang Yue plopped down heavily onto the sofa, hands covering her face as she sighed in anguish.
Pei JiangGuo also sat down and asked, "How are things going between Shuangshuang and that painter? Don't force her too much. If she really likes him that much, nagging won't change her mind. You might as well approve the match. She's almost thirty now too and should settle down to start her own family."
"If she really wanted to start a family, would I make things difficult for her?" Speaking of her daughter caused Wang Yue's tears to flow freely. "I don't know what evil spirit's gotten into her, fooling around with a no-name no-status man. I told her to bring him home to meet me but she refused. And she also refused to consider marriage. The more I talked about it, the less she would come home, even moving in with him in the end. What is going on here? Cohabitation without formal introduction, that would have been labeled as a fallen woman in previous years. She's gone and ruined my reputation completely!"